I believe that everyone has some unforgettable events in their life. As to me, I have no exception. Representing the school to take part in nationwide spelling bee is one of my unforgettable events. When I was a senior high student, I attend the spelling bee competition in school and take second place; thus, I need to represent school to compete with my classmates but I do not get the place in nationwide competition finally.
It is a wonderful experience for me in my life. I have not attended any competition before senior high school. When I major in English, I must spend some time on English. Reciting the vocabulary and reading English article is the thing which I usually do; therefore, I accumulate a large number of words. Because of that, I have strong willing to test my vocabulary. As a result, I get a great grade on it and I have an honor on it.
It is safe to say that this thing was born in mind forever and I can not forget this thing which has already happened; hence, this one is my unbelievable
things.
Hi Ian,
ReplyDeleteWell, first of all, I'm glad you have such a positive attitude towards vocabulary contest. Good for you. However, I sort of got lost when reading the paragraph 3 because I was not confused with the verb tenses you used. Apart from that, there are a few minor mistakes for you to revise.
1. When I was a senior high student, I attend the spelling bee competition in school and take second place; thus, I need to represent school to compete with my classmates but I do not get the place in nationwide competition finally.
第一、attend時態有問題
第二、take時態有問題
第三、need to 要用 had to
第四、 你不是得了第二名為什麼還因此要跟classmates比賽? 最後又談到national wide? 我想你應該有一些背景沒交代，所以很難知道你在說什麼
5. I have not attended any competition before senior high school.
時態 had not attended
6. When I major in English, I must spend some time on English. Reciting the vocabulary and reading English article is the thing which I usually do; therefore, I accumulate a large number of words. Because of that, I have strong willing to test my vocabulary. As a result, I get a great grade on it and I have an honor on it.
這一段我不知道你是說現在還是高中? 就時態而言是現在，但是最後又有 As a result...
就上下文應該是高中，但時態全是現在,
請大修時態
7. It is safe to say that this thing was born in mind forever and I can not forget this thing which has already happened; hence, this one is my unbelievable things.
同一句的第二個this thing請用代名詞
第二 這個thing已經發生了你也牢記在心了，可以不用再說一次which has already happened
第三、最後一個things的s請去掉
第四、unbelievable thing跟unforgettable意思差很多喔